there are a lot of things to think about today. just this week has been a lot to process, with everything happening in the world, bombing in boston, fire in texas, to the things happening in my life that i’m just trying to figure out, with my GED and where i stand with school and how i’m dealing with myself emotionally. it’s hard to say where i stand, right now the things that are going through my mind are that i should just let this go, sometimes people are not fair and not right and unjust and hurtful but you can’t let it break you. everyone feels sad, hurt, overwhelmed, angry, confused and uneasy and thats just life but there is good in people, there are people who can help you, there are people out there that can relate to not having a good day or week or year but it gets better, it’s ups and downs. last night i went to sleep embarrassed and angry, feeling like i couldn’t trust anyone and feeling cautious of the things around me and feeling naive and vulnerable, but today i went to church and church has always left me with mixed feeling, it doesn’t hurt to go to church but i dislike the institution and religion but i love God and Christ and the word is there to help with whatever situation you’re in. there is always something in the book that can help you or relate to whatever it is you’re facing. so i went and i feel better.
tonight was good it ended great or so i thought. my neice wanted food so i thought hey okay lets go get some food, pay it forward. its late i know and i probably shouldnt have even gone out in the first place but what the fuck, so i have a $100 that i got for babysitting and we go to mcdonlands to get some ice cream and the guy gives me fake bills back,i found out because we went to jack in the box to get some food and i didn’t even really look at it because i guess i just expected it to be real. i cant even begin to tell you how embarrassing and infuriating that is, i saw that they were all there but i didn’t inspect it under a microscope. so i go back and say that i want different bills and he gives me it, i can’t believe it took me after jack in the box to notice he forgot to give me our milk and mc flurry when we went. stupid fucking situation , maybe they thought i gave them a fake bill, but its not, i shouldnt have gone to mcdonalds in the first place, fucking pissed me off, thank you for ruining my night im pretty sure i don’t have real bills. fuck you.
just kidding drugsarebadmmkay. im babysitting . took my ged today,taking the next half Tuesday. im pretty bored waiting for the parents to come back, easy job, she’s been asleep since eight. this kido is cute, she’s so spoiled though she’s so good with me but once she sees her mom its like she will die if she can’t be held. i guess wifi works here… cool. someone talk to me i have no friends.